I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
