Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Dicks are not precious.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
