I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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