She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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