New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
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Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
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You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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