yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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