I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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