Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
