By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
