she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
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