apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
