also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
