I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
