Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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