i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
