just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
