are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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