Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
