Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
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I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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