I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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