pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize