barbara walters just said penis...
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
