i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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