Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize