now i know why i became what i already was.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
