He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
