Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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