Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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