dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
