I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
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the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
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there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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