i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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