so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
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I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
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Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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