nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
