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You're earring is so big in my mouth
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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