Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
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You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
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Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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