too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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