if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
