Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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