we have pet lesbian snakes
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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