So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
