Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
