I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
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