Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
