do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
