I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
