hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
