i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
