margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
