So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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