do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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