I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Operation Purity has been aborted
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
