I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
