It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
