11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
