Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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