i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
