so explain again why im purple
no
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
