alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
