I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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