Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Less talking, more tequila
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
